My blog and I are getting married – This is the bright side (or is it the twisted side?!?!) of my webhosting company being under a DDoS attack

Yesterday, my website crashed and I experienced my first blogging panic attack! For more than twelve hours I was completely unable to log into, post to, or even view my site. It was no fun.

Apparently, my webhosting company was under a DDoS attack. Do you know what that means? I didn’t either … until yesterday.

It brought me no pleasure to learn that, in technical terms, a DDoS is a Distributed Denial of Service attack.

It brought me even less pleasure to realize that, in frustrated blogger terms, a DDoS means darn hackers are messing up my webhosting company’s servers, bringing down my website, and tearing apart my precious blog and I. Nasty, jealous little creatures! Who “invented” them anyway?

Something good did come out of this though. It really did!

See, my blog and I have just started seeing each other. Our relationship is only a few weeks old. In this short time we’ve already had some ups and downs. Mostly downs really, because I felt completely overwhelmed by my ignorance about blogging and his friends: WordPress, plug-ins, widgets, and so on. But, yesterday, I realized that being overwhelmed beats being apart hands down.

Are you overwhelmed? Yes, it sucks. But you have choices.

• One. Break up and have a nice pity party. Invite your girlfriends over. Get some Ben & Jerry icecream and some cake. Definitely get drunk.

• Two. Get to know each other better. Learn what makes each other tick … or tweet … or get re-tweeted. Practice really makes everything easier. No, you won’t get the cake or get drunk but you still get some kind of high when you realize that what was overwhelming a few days ago is slowly becoming a piece of cake. So, I guess you’ll get some cake after all.

When hackers get into the picture though, you’re hands are pretty much tied up. There’s no way to reach your blog. All communication lines are down. The only thing left to do is obsessively check the website of your hosting company for updates on when the “DDoS attack on the DNS infrastructures” (quite a mouthful … right?) will be stopped and the related mess will be cleaned-up.

Actually, I found out that having your hands tied-up can be fun too. No, I’m not talking about any sexual fantasies here … sorry! That will come later … in my book! What I am talking about is that, after the first few hours of sexual frustration … er, I mean blogging frustration (see what talking about tied-up hands does to my mind???), I was finally able to accept that I have to patiently wait for the big, bad IT guys to bring down the hackers  and occupy my mind with something else.  Soooo … I started reading Hemingway’s collection of short stories. I got blown away by his preface. He’s that good.

Anyway, it took more than 12 hours, but the hackers and their malicious code were finally smashed to binary dust. Their virtual ashes were scattered to the four corners of the world wide web. Most importantly, my blog and I were reunited … at last.

That’s when we both confessed our true feelings for each other and decided to take our relationship to the next level.  In other words, we went from “who-the-heck-are-you-and-why-are-you-trying-to-show-me-your-stuff” type of relationship to “please-say-yes-and-never-leave-me” true love. We were made for each other. We’re getting married, you guys!!!! How many states is this kind of marriage legal in?!?!