Being in love is like playing a “blind” hand of poker

Sometimes I’m amazed by my own wit. Most of the time though, I’m even more amazed by how many people find it … un-witty. That’s a huge loss, if you ask me. Well, you can’t win them all.

Speaking of wins and losses, it occurred to me that being in love is like playing poker with a blind hand of cards. Whether your hand is good or bad, it doesn’t really matter.

Mind you that I know jack (pun intended) about playing poker. I do a know a bit more than jack about being in love though. Is that enough for this post to make sense? Probably not. Good thing my goal is not to make sense then. My goal is to try and figure things out. Sometimes, I fail … obviously.

Back to love and poker: it doesn’t matter if you fall in love with someone who loves you back … or if you fall for that one single person in the world who doesn’t find you irresistible and therefore has his affections engaged elsewhere. Your odds at winning this game … suck. Let’s demonstrate, shall we?

• Case 1. You fall in love. He loves you back. Stroke of good luck, right? Not so fast. The only choice you truly have is to go all in. Every. Single. Hand. Good cards? All in. Bad cards? All in. You win some. You lose some. And you have to be OK with that.

That’s what a relationship is: losing parts of you and gaining parts of him (and viceversa) so that, in the end, you both feel like winners. And when you both win … nobody does. You call that a tie, not a win.

You can’t ever raise though. If you do, you’re forcing the other person to put up more chips than he was willing to do in the first place. It doesn’t matter if you win the hand or not. Your relationship suffers. Nobody likes to be forced into doing something. Bottom line? Definitely not a win … not even a tie … that’s a straight loss.

• Case 2. You fall in love. He’s not into you.

The good news? He’s not really into your chips either. Oh, he might not mind playing with you for a while. But, what he’d rather do and will end up doing, is taking his chips and play poker elsewhere, where his heart is.

In this game you lose. Every. Single. Time. He’s holding all the aces. You could never raise … obviously. The only choice you truly have is to fold.

It’s up to you and your tolerance for pain … from losing, to decide how soon you want to cut your losses and pull out of the game.

Once you fold, go home. Give yourself a chance to replenish your coffers. Then take your chips and find a poker table where you’re actually wanted. Better yet, just play strip poker. There are no losers there. No love. Just lust … and that’s much easier to handle, don’t you think? Plus, strip poker is really fun … or so I’ve heard.

P.S. You heard the saying “when everyone is special … no one is,” right?

That’s what I had in mind when I said that in a relationship you balance your wins and losses so that, in the end, you both feel like winners. Because, if everybody wins … then nobody does.

The truth is, many of the things I write here are exercises in creative writing … at the very best. I like coming up with weird comparisons, nonsensical metaphors, and totally-out-there ideas and mental connections. In other words, I’m having fun making up some half-baked nonsense.

I am not really a pessimist when it comes to love. I actually believe it is one of the best ways to live your life: loving and, hopefully, be loved back. Love stories are my favorite … that is why I’m working on a romance novel … after all.

And that’s why I still play poker … after all.