Every now and then, I look at the “Missed Connections” section in “Personals”, on Craigslist. It’s not for fun, or out of pure curiosity. It’s for more personal reasons. I might try to explain what those reasons are but I don’t feel like it right now. That’s not why I started writing this post.
Instead, I would like to talk about a certain kind of posts in Missed Connections. The people who fall in love with married people and write “heartbreaking” poetry, add links to sappy love songs, or give an account of how meaningless their lives are once the relationship is over. The worst part is when they try to make the person they fell for feel bad, or guilty.
I don’t understand that kind of behavior. You can’t be blamed for being stupid enough to fall in love with anyone, let alone with a married person. Unfortunately, the heart has a way of doing what it wants, not what makes sense. It happens to the best of us.
The question is: why do you expect to be loved back? If you fell in love with someone expecting them to feel the same, is that true love? Would you have allowed yourself to fall for them knowing without a doubt they will never love you back?
You can’t love someone and expect anything in return. You may hope for it, of course. You may wish it more than you’ve ever wished for anything else in your life. But don’t ask for it. It doesn’t work that way. Especially with a married person. Most of the time, you’ll just be the naughty fun that gives them some stimulation outside their marriage. Nothing more.
So next time you fall in love be ready for the break-up. Be ready for the moment you realize you were nothing more than a temporary distraction. A meaningless cold f*ck. Because that moment will come. It won’t be less disappointing or less heartbreaking. It won’t make you cry less. It won’t make you feel less empty. But it will stop you from being the fool that blames the other person. You have no excuse to do that. You can’t expect to be loved back!
P.S. I didn’t like writing this post. I’ve set a goal for myself to add something that’s either funny, inspirational, or helpful to everything I write on this site. This post seemed to be just dark. So I’ll leave you with a funny quote about heartbreak:
If your heart was really broken you’d be dead, so shut up!
One more. It made me smile!