Am I the one your truth’s been waiting for?
– Damien Rice
P.S. During much of my young adult life, I spent a lot of time building walls around my heart. I believe most of us do. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from emotional pain.
At first, I was pleased with the results. I cried less. I hurt less. Exactly what I had wished for. It took me a while to see that, unfortunately, I also laughed less. I couldn’t find joy in activities I used to love.
I was in my late twenties when I finally understood: hearts don’t stay safe behind walls. Instead, the isolation slowly kills them.
You don’t protect your heart by building walls around it. You protect it by putting everything in the right perspective. You love, get hurt, win, lose, fall, get back up. Through it all, you learn to appreciate the moment, the now, and the memories it gives.
It’s not easy. Many times, my mind knows I should be thankful for what I had, my heart wants it all back. That’s when I feel myself shutting down again. And that’s when I make a conscious effort to break those walls. The most effective way, for me, is to listen to songs that make me cry. Not a pretty sight, but it’s worth it. Hours later, I can smile again.
The Greatest Bastard is of my favorite tear-jearkers. Damien Rice … of course.