A Plea for Forgiveness – A blurted poem

This is my third poem so far.

The first one is posted on an ‘alternate universe’ site. The second one is somewhere on my hard drive, one click away from being forever erased. This third one is lucky enough to make it on my blog.

Before I post it, I’d like to give you a quote from Ray Bradbury’s “Zen in the Art of Writing”.

 

What can we writers learn from lizards, lift from birds? In quickness is truth . The faster you blurt, the more swiftly you write, the more honest you are. In hesitation is thought. In delay comes the effort for style, instead of leaping upon truth which is the only style worth deadfalling or tiger-trapping.

– Ray Bradbury

I blurted this poem in about thirty minutes and posted it less than an hour after. There was little hesitation, and almost no delay there. So here’s honesty, some thought, and non-existent style. I’ll be using this poem in my novel “Three to heal”. It will fit perfectly in there.

 

A plea for forgiveness
by Ada Ireland

 

I’m trying to let go of all my childish wishes,
I’m trying to forget all my impossible dreams,
I’m trying to suppress all those obsessive urges,
And to ignore the insane needs that leave my body and my mind in pain.

It’s when I focus on myself that I act foolish,
And that’s the irony of all of it, I think,
That every part of me lives to fulfill your wishes,
Yet it’s my selfishness that pushes you away.

I’m sorry …
I can’t undo my actions, I can’t erase the weakness and mistakes.
I hope you know there is no real me without you,
I feel more like a shadow when you’re so far away.

I know you might be gone forever, I know we weren’t really meant to be,
But love raised hopes. It crushed the doubts and all the guilty feelings.
I needed you.
That’s all that I could feel.

You might decide to move on now. I know that.
I might be forced to see you go and move on too.
Yet, even if we both found love elsewhere,  I’ll always need you,
Because you touched my heart the way I never knew one could.

I’m waiting now … I’d love to have you here,
I’d love to touch your body and lose myself in its intoxicating warmth,
I need you for the good and bad, for present and the future,
And I will try my best to not hurt you again.

Please forgive …
Please understand …
Please let me know  …
Please come.

I’m sorry … and I love you.