Unashamed Writing

Authentic writing from the gut - the studio of a self-taught writer

Spiced rum makes any cookie better, but you have to watch out or … you’ll cut yourself!

rum in various locationsI’m a pretty good cook when I put my mind to it. Surprised? Probably not, right? If you’ve read my blog for a while then you already know I’m good at whatever I set my mind to trying or doing. What can I say? I can’t help it. It comes naturally to me.

There was some truth to the paragraph above and a lot of sarcasm too. I hope you were able to tell which one was which.

Back to cooking: I wasn’t kidding when I said I was good at it. It’s surprising actually because I have never been able to completely follow any recipes. Not once in my life did a follow a recipe to the T. Something inside compels me to change recipes. Every . Single. Time.

The good thing about my change-the-recipe obsession? I never know what I’m going to end up with.

The bad thing? Please don’t ask me to make again that awesome chili that I cooked three weeks ago. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I can barely remember my kids’ names most of the time. How am I going to remember the dozen tweaks I made to the Betty Crocker basic chili recipe?

What I can do is make a different chili. We’ll see if you like as much as the one I made three weeks ago. If you don’t, take consolation in the fact that it will be impossible for me to make it again. If you do, savor every bite. It’s the first and only time you’ll have that chili!

What does chili have to do with spiced rum and cookies, the title of this post? A lot, of course. Because I’m as bad at following cookie recipes as I am at following chili recipes.

In my family I’m famous for my fig cookies. That doesn’t make much sense to me. I’ve made those cookies dozens of times. Which one of those dozens of versions am I famous for? I haven’t figured it out yet.

Anyway, no matter how I change the recipe one thing remains the same: RUM. Lots of spiced rum! Guess how much rum does the original recipe call for. None!!! Ridiculous, right? How can you have fig cookies without rum? My cookies have between one and one and half cups (you read that right, cups) of rum in them, depending on how thirsty I am. The rest of the rum I save for later. It’s my favorite movie snack.

The only problem with using rum in fig cookies? You can easily get a nasty cut if you’re not careful. How? Well, with the darn blade of the food processor! I have to use a food processor to blend the rum, figs, and many other bits and pieces. By the time I’m done blending, tasting, adjusting, and blending again, I feel a little dizzy. It’s not from the rum, of course. It’s from watching the blade spin.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you those blades spin very fast. Even a professional ballerina would go dizzy  watching them. Me? I stand no chance! Only, I don’t just get dizzy. I start hiccupping too. And I laugh out of nowhere. Almost like a drunk person would, which is really weird since I’m not drinking anything. I’m merely tasting that filling.

Today, all that filling-tasting-and-adjusting induced euphoria made me forget how sharp the food processor blade was. I came extremely close to cutting myself. That would have been embarrassing. Just imagine the questions I would have gotten tomorrow. (That’s why I’m making the cookies, by the way. A New Year’s Eve party I’m having tomorrow.) I’m sure at least someone would have asked me: “What happened? How did you get hurt?” That’s where I would have had to tell them: “Oh, this nasty cut? I got it while making cookies!”

Well, cookie making is a dangerous endeavor. But it’s worth it. You’ll have to take my word for it since you can’t have one of my fig laced rum cookies. I meant … rum laced fig cookies … of course.

I’m going back to baking now. I’m making another batch!

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