If you’re not ready for criticism, you’re not ready to be a writer, OR …

A few days ago I started writing a short story that I tentatively named After the Top. I read the first three pages today to a friend and he called it … boring. Darn! That’s not the reaction I was looking for. I didn’t write a lullaby or something meant to put you to sleep. I wrote something that was supposed to be a mystery with some comic lines in there.

According to my friend … I failed! To my credit, I didn’t cry. Nor did I throw a fit. What’s the use? I’d just end up with a blotchy face, a headache, and a boring story.

Instead, I poured myself a nice glass of wine, got a pound of chocolate covered hazelnuts, and put on some Damien Rice music with the volume turned up to “blasting”. Now, I have a mild buzz, two extra pounds of body weight, and a boring story. I can’t say I’m bothered by that fact though. My BAC (blood alcohol content) is too high for that.

Soooo, the lesson I learned today is that if you’re not ready for criticism, you’re not ready to be a writer. Or, you’re not drunk enough. Therefore, my advice to you, as a new writer, is to have something strong to drink before showing your work to your friends. It will make all feedback sound like good feedback. That’s good advice, yes?

*burps and hiccups*

*smiles because there’s no one around to see her drunk antics and make her feel like she has to apologize*

*pours herself another drink*

*prints out twenty copies of her short story to pass out tomorrow to the ten members of her writing group (alcohol induced confidence is high with this one!)*

*re-reads her story and doesn’t find it boring*

*pours herself one last drink and gets ready for bed*

Goodnight, everyone! I’ll post an update tomorrow on the feedback I get from the writing group. I’ll bring a big bottle of rum with me. If they all say that my story is boring, I’ll give everyone a drink and read my story again after an hour or so. I already know that alcohol has a good effect on the one who’s being critiqued. I want to see how it affects the ones providing the critique. The things I’m willing to do in the name of science!